The beginning...of what will probably not last long.

The first question on your mind: Why the hell does Mark Whitmarsh of all the people on the face of this planet have/want/need a blog? Well I must tell you that it had humble beginnings (about 10 minutes ago). I thought about my good buddy, Will Muto, while looking at his Facebook profile. This is nothing out of the ordinary since the frequency at which I check my friend's profile would probably be criminal except for the fact that I do indeed know them in real life. (By the way, his picture is of him in freefall after jumping out of a plane; allow me to repeat this, because it bears repeating; Will Muto, this kid, jumped out a fucking plane. Awesome.) Anyway, I recently gave him an ear-load (half ear-full, half-assload Mark Whitmarsh©2006) about writing a blog. While checking his blog out again today, I thought to myself that maybe I was in error. Now normally I would shrug self-doubting ideas off in a millisecond, but I think that Muto just might be on to something here.

First of all, I am very good at talking. Ask anyone, I am a gold medalist of talking about practily nothing at all, and I am AMAZING at talking about myself, seriously perfect 10's from the East German judge type stuff. So an entire blog about all the stuff I think and say is as close to a perfect fit as your going to get. If there's any more qualifications for writing a blog (which I don't think there is) I've got that covered too. I have what all true blog masters need to succeed: a huge ego. My fourth grade math teacher told me that I had a superior attitude, to which my father replied, "Damn right, we're raising you that way!" A healthy sense of narcissism is the foundation for any successful blog, don't believe me? This is good since I am absolutely in love with myself. I could go on for hours about this, but take my word for it, there is no greater champion for Mark Whitmarsh than Mark Whitmarsh.

But here is the real reason why this is happening, I can't for the life of me find my keys. Seriously I looked everywhere, but I can't find them. So here I sit, after knocking on my door twice in the span of an hour, trying to visit Irene, taking a long walk, I finally ended by myself in the honors lounge at quarter to ten at night after my night class with nothing better to do (does nobody update daily anymore?). So who knows maybe I'll keep at this, unlike any other endeavor I tried so far in my life. In any case, you just wasted minutes of your life which you can never get back (sucker), and the thought of people wasting time on me while I'm not even in the room with them, gets me off like no drug ever could (except smack, that stuff is the shit). But I digress, and Nate is probably back at the house by now; so like so many fine journalist of yesteryear did, I will bid you goodnight and Bone Appetit.